Dreams,

I am having such a bad day since morning. I don't know why, maybe I'm turning into someone bad? But I feel the burden and I guess I am starting to feel it because firstly she doesn't have the heart and the mind to continue this secondly it is a major assessment for this module. Being unfamiliar with Melbourne and her being unwilling to learn I guess I just suddenly became very stress. I really did try my best to help her,every time when there's assessment/test (pract. and theory) I feel that I am doing 2 persons work. I wouldn't mind helping, but helping someone who keeps telling you that there's no point studying and she doesn't like studying makes you feel really tired. A BIG FAT SIGH..... But all's good after I think about it again... So many things happened during practical class. 


Maggie is always messy... when she weighs off almost anything, she can have them scattered on the floor, table, inside her tool box, inside my tool box and when she washes the stuffs we are the only bench that have water puddles everywhere on the floor as if the pipe was leaking. Paul and I really thought it was leaking once and we were trying to figure out where was the leak, we finally knew how the puddles appeared. Trust me, it's that bad. And when she measures the ingredient she doesn't separate the ones that were of right measurements and the ones that are the extras so I think today, in her own confusion she gave me the extra instead and our custard turned out hard. I'm not blaming her but because I knew I wasn't in the right condition too. I always have this fear of making bread because I've been failing ever since I started trying to make one. (*Jiamin + Yeast = Fail) so I guess it made me feel really jittery the whole time in the kitchen and feel so lost. How can 180g of corn flour fill up almost the whole stainless steel bowl? But it didn't strike me then, so I just proceed to making the custard. While making the custard I knew we had to prove the dough but I stupidly left it sitting under the workbench without placing it in the prover. So now our bread is still lacking of taste, lastly I depended on the teacher to get the bread out of the oven but he missed one and I didn't bother checking until we needed to fill them with custard. It was left in the oven and I think just a few more minutes we will be having burnt bread. 


Came home tired because I had trouble sleeping the night before. Slept close to 2am and woke up at 4am. I waited for Jeannette because we were supposed to have dinner outside since I'm really, mentally and physically, tired to the core. 6pm...6.30pm...7.00pm it was weird how she didn't text me, so I thought maybe her classes ended late and she coming home now, so I went to bathe. Came out called her a few times and waited again.. 7.30pm... 8.30pm...9pm... I swear she must be sleeping. She did the same too yesterday. Hello fat, the least you can do is text me and say that you wouldn't want dinner or you need some sleep and get me to wake you up. At the very least if you know you are meeting me for dinner, you should set your alarm or something. 


Try having a bad day and being stood up by the same person 2 days in a row.