Dreams,

In reality, guilt is pouring all over me... I've never felt so bad before. So thanks all those who were telling me that it's okay. I know I haven't been in the best of mood this whole week but still, thanks so much. And also, thank you for caring, I know that you wouldn't want me to experience whatever bad events that might happen during the perf if I were to just go ahead. I know you don't want me to get involved.

Well, but somehow I guess this sense of guiltiness won't go away anytime soon.

Yet now there isn't much time to think about all these alrd. Chris gave me a wake up call today. He said this during consultation. "Jiamin, what happened? It's time to catch up. You really need to." It's because of what Chris said that finally made me come to realise that I have really neglected my studio work all the while. I've never heard this my entire life in DID, and didn't expect to be hearing it during my last year in DID while working on FYP.

Pretty much puts me in a really paranoid state that make me feel really terrible.

I guess thr's too much going on, a gig with a whole lot of problems, school work, house work and stress.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish I have the ability to be able to handle